manfulness | o1; [audio → video]

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o1; [audio → video]

--AND KUWABARA IS A MAN!

[It's the only shout heard echoing over the Gear from a new transmission before the feed goes dead silent. Around fifteen minutes and a good breakfast later, Kuwabara manages to find the video function.

He's now outside and brushing crumbs away from his mouth.]

URAMESHIIII!! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?!

[Because obviously, being somewhere else means it's his fault. He waits a solid minute of just looking and staring, but then just decides to ask the gear instead. Thanks, Urameshi. Thanks.]

So, uh, some nice lady thought I was her kid and gave me a bag and a cat. [He laughs a little nervously.]

I don't know what it is, but it's kinda cute! She said it's mine, but, uh... I'm not really her kid? Does she have a kid? She's kinda... [He pauses on this one, then shrugs.] Unique's a good word for it.

Anyway. What am I s'posed to do with this? And, uh... how do I get back home? I'm not in the demon world right now, am I? 'Cuz this doesn't seem like Earth, but it's kinda like Earth. It's normal. Well, except for the pink cat, and the lady, and waking up here, and... Well, a lot of it's not normal.

I mean, usually Urameshi knows what's going on, but I dunno where he went, so... Anyone know here?

[Seriously, someone come help out this sad, pathetic child.]

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You're from Earth? Did you ever play the pokemon games? I think there was a cartoon of it too.

Urameshi? As in Yusuke?

Yeah! I'm from Earth, it's a good planet. Why, are some people not from Earth?

[With a small squint, he nods sharply once.]

Yeah, that's him. Where's that lousy bastard?

Don't worry about her she acts acts like that with everyone that in her house.

Are you a friend of Pissed Jr? He is quite a few kilometer away from you right now.

[THAT'S who that other guy reminded him of! HE KNEW HE'D SEEN THAT HAIR BEFORE.

...Sorry Kuwabara, you were kind of. Teetering on the verge of death through the whole match, he didn't really pay attention.]

Well if it isn't a sight fer sore eyes! Don' ye be frettin' yer head over Urameshi, he's here fine and dandy same as a fair lot!

[DID YOU YELL FOR ONE (1) JERK WITH SLICKED HAIR, KUWABARA? BECAUSE BY GOLLY, YOU'RE GETTING ONE.

... you know, just as soon as he's done choking on his coffee and you figure out the video function. Yusuke usually doesn't leave his 'Gear on when he isn't using it, but as he was chillin' outside on a bench all the way out here in Azalea, he decided, what the hell, might as well turn it on just to have a little background noise while he's waking up. Big mistake - the network was pretty quiet up until Kuwabara accidentally dialed it during his initial outburst, so needless to say, when that screechy voice first comes blaring through his 'Gear's speakers, it's startling enough to cause that mouthful of cheap take-away java Yusuke was about to swallow go down the wrong chute. Rest assured, though, that he isn't so caught up in hacking his lungs out in the wake of the sudden coffee SNAFU that he doesn't notice the contents of that short transmission. At the very least, the name mentioned certainly registers with him, as does the voice itself - and that, ladies and gentlemen, is enough to set his heart a-racin'.]

[Now look, don't mistake this for being anything weird, all right? The only reason why he's suddenly so filled with excitement over here is because he's been stuck in Johto for almost six months and hasn't seen either hide or hair of any his three teammates from home since he first arrived. Sure, Jin and Botan and Keiko are here with him, and he's not at all ungrateful for that, but when you go through the kind of awful dangerous shit that he, Kuwabara, Kurama and Hiei have endured together... well, it's hard for there not to be a special bond there, even if Yusuke wouldn't necessarily phrase it that way himself (nor would the other three, most likely - let's not get too feelsy here, okay). Therefore, the thought that one of them has finally showed up here quite frankly comes as an immense relief - he would've been able to manage being here without them, there's no doubt about that, but the idea of being stuck in this place indefinitely is a lot less awful with the knowledge that he'll have his fire-forged pals riding it out with him.

Seeing Kuwabara in particular eventually show up on video is more than enough to take a significant weight off his shoulders. He would've been pleased to see him either way, but uh, taking into consideration that when Yusuke last saw him, he was bouncing around on the back of a pick-up truck with the bad guy on one side of him and some creep's tentacle fingers wrapped around him... well, it almost goes without saying that Yusuke's happy to see him unharmed and unkidnapped, even in spite of the fact that the big dummy made him choke on his drink.

Yusuke does, however, take note of his outfit right away as he's watching the broadcast unfold (and as he's listening to him ramble on about Mom being weird and getting a cat - god, of course he'd get a friggin' cat as a starter, what a big surprise). Those were the clothes he wore during the Dark Tournament, though Yusuke can't exactly determine which match Kuwabara was in the middle of just by looking at them. This does, however, at least answer the question of where Kuwabara's from: somewhere within the week of the tournament. Sigh. Great. Yusuke sure is looking forward to trying to explain the time paradox stuff to him! Maybe if they're really lucky, it won't take him ten years to get the concept through his thick head.]

[Anyway, as soon as Kuwabara's done speaking, Yusuke flicks on the video button and dials him. When Kuwabara picks up, he will find himself gazing upon the face of his BFF, who grins at him and says:]

Pipe down, doofus, I'm here. Took your dumb ass long enough to show your ugly mug. What the hell were you doing, diggin' around in your nose for boogers to eat?

[:I Seriously, Kuwabara, you can't just blow out the speakers on Yusuke's 'Gear like that and then fuck off for fifteen minutes while he sits around wondering if maybe he'd just been hearing shit when he thought that was you on the network. Besides, didn't anyone tell you that he did the whole "show up in Johto and scream at everyone first thing" routine first? Gosh.

(Also, Yusuke is clearly trying to see how many insults he can fit into one greeting. He missed you so fucking much, buddy.)]

Kuwabara is a man.

[ Morgiana repeats to memorize it. If anyone asks her, she'll know. ]

Pissed Jr? [That nickname has him laughing.] Good one, good one!

But yeah, I know that bastard. You know where he is?

[Whoa, where did you come from!? Kuwabara just grins.]

He's here, and you?!

[Squiiiint. As much as he's glad to see a recognizable face, he still has to wonder if there's something up. After all, why would Yusuke be 'fine and dandy' in a weird place with a crazy mom, especially in the middle of Toguro's fight?! And double especially when he was about to die for Yusuke. What happened to the fight? Hell, what happened to the entire tournament?!]

So, uh. This is the demon world, ain't it? I got stolen off again by some weird portal or something, didn't I?

[The world has officially been turned upside down. There's Urameshi, looking far closer to 'right as rain' than 'rough for wear', which is the last condition Kuwabara had seen him in. They were fighting, he was already psyched and ready for the best pseudo-death he could ever have, but this entire sitting-on-a-bench deal like nothing's wrong has just got to be some sort of farce.

For a good long moment, Kuwabara wonders if he actually died before he got to finish his catchphrase, but Urameshi's still calling him names, so he knows this is the real world. Either that or he's grown fond of those stupid names; not that that's happened, so obviously this just isn't heaven. But it really makes him wonder what the hell's going on.

So, as eloquently, he turns to the screen and asks, quite impolitely:]

URAMESHI, WHAT THE HELL'S GOIN' ON?!

[Just hearing a girl say that has him flailing awkwardly and laughing at the same time.]

Y-yeah, damn right I am! So if you ever need a man to do a man's job, you can call me!

[...wow that was lame. JUST ROLL WITH IT.]

In a place called Azalea Town, which is about two towns and very long cave away from where you are.

So you'll have a lot of walking to do.

There's quite a few people not from Earth.

[Carol raises an eyebrow at Kuwabara's reaction]

Not sure. Last we met he was in Violet but I'm sure he's moved on since then.

Alright. If I ever need a man to do a man's job, I'll call you.

[ A beat. ] What's a man's job?

His voice coming over the network is actually a bit of surprise. But it's a small hiccup really as she hesitates in giving her Pidgey a command. She's sure that it wasn't a hallucination (she'd be more likely to hallucinate Yusuke or a teacher anyway) and waits for him to eventually make another appearance.]

[And when he does she quickly shoots back a video of her own of her waving while laughing.]

Hi Kuwabara. Don't worry about Mom, she almost wouldn't let me leave when I got here.

[Jin returns the grin with one of his own, a pointy grin that takes up most of the tiny screen.]

Aye, an' me too! And a couple o' the lasses, Botan an' Keiko as well!

[His expression changed a little.]

Nah, this ain't the Demon World. Some kinda place what seals all yer powers up nice and neat where ye can't get t' em, but that's 'bout the only downside t' bein' here. What a downside it is, though, believe ye me!

Really?! Where are you guys from? Demon world? Not the demon world? ...where's Violet?

Oh! And uh, that cartoon you were talkin' about. A Polka-man? I didn't ever watch any cartoon about polka-person so you're gonna have to fill me in on that one.

EH?! He's in a cave?

I'LL FIND HIM! I can just run there!

Botan and Keiko are here too?!

[Wherever 'here' is, it's got a lot of friendly folks he knows. He's really weirded out about the power notification, though, and stares at his hands in surprise.]

So I can't use my spirit sword, huh... Then how am I supposed to fight if anything bad comes my way, with my fists like I normally do?

H-heh heh, yeah! And don't you forget it!

[There is just stupid laughter.]

You know, stuff girls don't always like t'do, like lifting heavy things or fighting punks mano-e-hando.

Keiko! So you really are here! Hey!

[That's just a wonder, but he can't complain. It's nice, knowing Keiko's here as well. No doubt keeping Urameshi in line, in any case. But her statement has him wondering something:]

So that's your mom?

...No, we had to travel through a cave we're out of it now. [Oh isn't this guy special]

If you can think, you run for a couple weeks straight then go right ahead.

Welcome to the world of Pokemon, big guy! [Man you're loud LOL like Superboy uber pissed off loud. She doesn't know who this Urameshi is but it sounds like he's in some trouble.]

Looks like you've met your starter already. We're kind of stuck inside of a video game- or a world based on a video game... or I guess the video game could actually somehow be based on this world. Anyway, I can try to answer some questions if you want.

[HELLO. Looks like someone cranked up the volume again! Yusuke leans away from the screen a bit, but doesn't seem to lose any of his good cheer - in fact, all getting yelled at seems to do is make him laugh, which... probably won't make this any less surreal for poor Kuwabara. God knows there wasn't a hell of a lot to laugh about during that fight with Team Toguro.]

Take a relaxer! This place is called Johto. And that lady, the one who thought she was your mom? She's like that with everyone. I dunno if she's brainwashed or if she's just nuts, but either way, she's harmless. Doesn't even seem to know how any of us got here. I know 'cause I checked it out already.

[This is otherwise known as "I tried to rough her up and she tossed me out the door and onto my ass, and then the people on the network told me what was up". He's not gonna mention any of that stuff to Kuwabara, though - it sounds cooler if he pretends he did all the detective work himself, and besides, the last thing he needs is that big goof laughing at him for getting hammer-thrown by some weird chick in an apron (or yell at him about taking a swing at a potentially mentally ill woman - give him a break, he was pissed off and confused and there was no reason for him not to think that maybe she was a bad guy, apron or not).

Yusuke takes a sip from his coffee cup.]

Anyway, we're probably gonna be stuck here for a while, so you better get comfortable. You said she gave you a cat?

Edited 2013-09-07 07:10 (UTC)

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